Women's Rights and Sex

I quote myself from the Hour One topic from On Point's Facebook page:

" Planned Parenthood is so much more than abortions. It is preventative care, cancer screenings, STI testing, contraceptive education, and female empowerment - to take charge of their own lives and choices (sexual activity, protecting their fertility, choosing when if ever to conceive, and options for the hardest choice a woman could ever make), and all in a safe, caring, compassionate, affordable setting.
Cutting their funding, which is not used for abortion services, does not eliminate abortions. It eliminates education, health care, and a safe haven for scared young women. Abortions will still happen - and society will pay for the infections and hackjobs. Unwanted children will be born and become a burden to not just the unwilling mother but society at large. And babies will be left more frequently in SafeHavens and dumpsters. Taking away PP will do nothing but shove women back into a corner, in the shadows."

I can't seem to stop myself from arguing on the internet with people who hide their misogyny behind a "Pro-Life" stance. For people who scream for the rights of a collection of cells that, if removed from the womb, cannot survive (there's a word for that entity, but people get pissed when I say 'parasite'); they sure don't give a damn for the lives of people who actually function as independent entities. I think a woman's life is more important than that of the unwanted thing giving her morning sickness. If, however, it's a wanted little bundle of cells it is damned well worth fighting for as well - And no pro-choice advocate will disagree with me.

We all want the abortion rate to go down, but we were focusing on the teen pregnancy rate - which went down in states where abortions are available. But we aren't supposed to make correlations. The only way to get both of those numbers down is through education. Since we all know that abstinence-only education is a complete failure, the only other option is comprehensive education and you know what? Planned Parenthood is really good at delivering that sort of thing!

At least I live in Vermont. Welch, Leahy, and Sanders have all heard from me several times. Have your representatives heard from you? Here's a link to the Open Letter to congress stating that you stand with Planned Parenthood. I hope you will sign it. Thank you.

The Gal's Guide to Her Guy's Equipment

Found this article while Stumbling around. Felt the need to share.

By Norine Dworkin-McDaniel, Special to Lifescript

Published September 30, 2010

When you want to know what’s up down there, you consult your ob-gyn, friends or the latest “Cosmo” issue. But what if you’re stumped over your partner’s parts? Read the gal’s guide to his equipment for answers to 8 common questions…

1. 5-6 inches is average
Is my penis big enough? It’s such an age-old worry for guys that someone actually got out a tape measure and checked. In a laboratory.

The result: Studies indicate that the average guy measures 5.1-5.7 inches when erect and 3.4-3.7 inches when not.

Some penises can appear smaller than they are because fat around the lower abdomen masks their true size; guys can lose the appearance of a full inch for every additional 35 pounds they’re carrying.

It can also be caused by skin on the penis that isn’t securely anchoring the shaft, which means his member retracts when soft.

When it comes to size, remember this: “The vagina always adjusts to the penis," says Ciril Godec, M.D., chairman of urology at Long Island College Hospital in Brooklyn.

2. There’s no need to supersize.
Email boxes are flooded every day with offers to “enlarge your penis” – even if you don’t have one.

“They’re garbage,” says Marc Greenstein, M.D., a urologist with the North Jersey Center for Urologic Care.

Same for penis expansion surgery. One such procedure involves injecting body fat into the penis to thicken it. Another severs the suspensory penile ligament, which attaches the penis to the pubic bone.

Reputable urologists won’t perform either procedure because they’re not effective and there’s a risk of mutilation, infection and fracture.

Plus, once the ligament’s cut guys lose their ability to steer, which is not good for you.

“The penis just kind of flops; you can’t really direct it,” says Sovrin Shah, M.D., a urologist with Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City.

Still, if you and your partner feel the need to upsize, pick up a penis pump or cock ring at an adult boutique. They can temporarily increase size by drawing more blood to the area.

3. If it’s morning, he’s erect.
Much as we’d like to think that guys wake up hard because they’re sleeping next to us, morning erections (called nocturnal penile tumescence in the urology world) are really just a holdover from the dreaming or rapid eye movement (REM) phase of sleep.

During REM, neurological activity and the release of hormones like testosterone produce erections.

Some doctors believe that the body’s natural way of keeping the penis healthy is to infuse it with fresh, nutrient-rich blood each night through erections. Regardless of why it happens, it’s fairly routine.

On average, healthy guys experience 3-5 erections during a normal night’s sleep. We’re just awake enough to appreciate it in the morning.

4. If you bend it, it can break.
The corpora cavernosa – the chambers of the penis that fill with blood during erection – are made of connective tissue. If the penis bends suddenly and awkwardly, the tissue can crack.

“It breaks right in half,” Greenstein says. Fractured penises require surgery to repair and take about six weeks to heal completely.

5. His testes won’t burst if he doesn’t ejaculate.
The truth about this popular ploy for talking us into sex: Arousal without release doesn’t damage his testes.

While it’s true that men’s testicles can expand by 25%-50% during arousal, there’s yet to be a report of testicles popping from lack of climax.

The trapped blood can make the testicles feel achy without the big finish (they may even turn a bit blue as blood loses oxygen), but the only damage done, says Greenstein, “is to men’s pride.”

6. Not hard? It’s (probably) not you.
Equipment malfunctions have a lot to do with how guys treat their own bodies. Smoking, for example, narrows the blood vessels in the penis, which are already narrow at 0.5-1 millimeter in diameter. Since erections depend on unimpeded blood flow to the penis, any kind of impediment.

In fact, smokers are twice as likely to become impotent as nonsmokers. Also, having a few drinks to “get you in the mood” can backfire by basically paralyzing the nerves of the penis, according to Godec.

“If there’s no stimulation leading to dilation of blood vessels, there’s no erection,” he says.

The occasional flop isn’t cause for concern. But if your guy’s been more often deflated than elated lately, get him to a doctor pronto. Erectile woes are often the first indicator of serious health problems.

Men with erectile dysfunction (ED) typically develop coronary artery disease within three years and diabetes within eight years. And if they have hypertension, they’re more likely to have a heart attack or stroke.

“The penis is the thermometer of men’s health,” says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, associate professor of urology at Columbia University in New York City.

Check out 10 Health Symptoms Your Guy Shouldn't Ignore.

7. Hair triggers can be handled.
About 30% of guys are quick to ejaculate. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy marathon sex with your guy, as long as you approach the situation diplomatically.

First, raise the issue. Yes, this will be awkward, but couching it as a conversation about how you can please each other takes the edge off, says sexpert Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., author of Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years (Collins).

She suggests this opener: “Is there something we can do that can help us last a little longer? I enjoy having you so much, I don’t want it to stop that quickly.”

“This way it’s not all about him; it’s about you as a couple,” Schwartz says.

Once you’re both on board to slow down, there are many ways to apply the brakes. SSRI antidepressants are often prescribed to help with premature ejaculation. But according to Shah, this buys guys only a couple minutes of extra time.

A better approach may be the “start-stop” method: Your partner gets aroused, backs off before the point of no return, lets things cool down and then starts again. The idea, explains Shah, is to gradually build tolerance so that with practice he can last longer.

Schwartz also recommends a throwaway round.

“Having a quick session will reduce the sense of urgency,” she explains. Then have a longer session together. "He won’t be as quick the second time.”

Another exercise: Fool around without intercourse. “This way he learns how to hold an erection for a while without feeling that he has to do something with it right away,” Schwartz says.

8. Erections can last too long.
There’s admirable staying power... and then there’s too much. Erections that stick around for 2-3 hours after ejaculation are a sign of plumbing problems.

Erections occur when blood rushes into the penis and the veins snap shut to keep it there, making the penis stay hard. After ejaculation, those blood vessels should relax so the blood can drain out.

If blood gets trapped, an erection becomes painful and, if untreated, may lead to impotence. Known as priapism, this condition mainly affects men with sickle cell anemia, diabetes or leukemia.

However, it has been known to happen when guys double up on erection medications to put on a good show in bed.

If your partner's penis shows no signs of returning to normal, swallow your embarrassment and go to the emergency room. In the early stages, docs can use drugs to lower the boom. But the longer you wait, the higher the chances of surgery.

I don't get it...

Why is Japanese porn so awful? All the girls look like they are being raped and the penises are so small chipmunks snicker. What the FUCK? Why, for the love of God, why?

They created Godzilla and tentacle porn - why is the real stuff either so goddawful dull, or so freaking misogynistic?

It's the tiny weeniers isn't it? Girls screaming, kicking them in the guts, blood, etc... all makes them feel like they own something worth having.

I'm tired and a size-queen... Give me some fun hentai anyday.

Green Sex

April is Earth Month, so I decided to bring you the best in green sex. Now, I want you to know that I am an omnivore, but I will not argue that vegetarians have a point about how not eating factory farm animals can help save the planet. So I have included some Vegetarian stuff too.

Let's start where I started: A dear friend of mine sent me this link, and it is apparently not a spoof.
Sex Toy Recycling
Can I just say that I am madly in love with their logo? I want stickers.

If you live across the puddle, this is the place to go for recycling: Rabbit Amnesty. Apparently, these were the first people to recycle toys. Brits are not prudes. Just wanted to remind you all.
I also love the term eco-gasam. I have bed-gasams after a really long day, and I used to have bodice-gasams after a long ren faire; but I have never gotten that feeling from recycling - maybe it's about time.

Now here we start loving the planet and her people:
Organic and Fair Trade is how I like my coffee and chocolate, so why not my sex toys, and a lot of these shops are touting sustainability. Isn't that novel? It will also make them safe for use as well - do we have to go through the Toxic Toy thing again? It is Phthalate Awareness Month as well you know. Even Green Peace was up on this in 2006.

Anyway, here are some of the Green Shops, some are beautiful and some are functional. I like them all:

Eco Erotica

Earth Erotics

Yes makes lube

Coco de Mer

And now the two vegetarian entries... One is a shop, The Sensual Vegan, and the other is smut, happy light hearted pay smut: Veg Porn: Titilating Tofu Eaters

And if you need any more ideas for greening up play time, check out this list of the top ten ways to green-up your sex life by the lovely Nicole Hughes of the Huffington Post.

Happy Green Month!

Discovery: Science of Sex Appeal

There are several of these videos on YouTube on the science of sex appeal. I've seen several of them on Discovery. I think I've found my calling. I just wish I could afford the additional education.

The Testosterone one (linked in the title) is very good, but I love all of it. The shape one is interesting because it hints at the things women do to call attention to certain body parts by the way they dress - hence the need for the grey mannequins.

Apparently, there is proof that men can be lead around by the nose. But, of course I have such a filthy mind I wasn't quite sure that the aroma the scientists were referring to wasn't that musky, "I just had amazing, hot, sweaty sex," smell. Dirty, dirty me.

You always thought your brother was smelly - turns out you were right. I also find it reassuring that this smelling your siblings thing wasn't because primitive people were too stupid to know who their closest kin were. In close knit tribes - everyone is kin, just some are closer than others.

Okay guys, you now have an excuse to want that sports car... (can you hear the eye-roll?) The first part of this segment is a no-brainer. The later part, about the cars... I wasn't surprised, but it did take me off guard. Really liked that Mercedes, btw...

Leave it to a scientist to condense and dramatize high school down to a 2 minute clip. Totally depressing. I was never a 10. But I sure as hell turned down more than enough 2's. Poor male 2 in this clip btw... she turned away from him twice and then settled with him because no one was left. And he was cute.

If you get the chance to watch this show - pop the corn and snuggle with your sweetie, and be prepared to glace furtively at them several times, wondering how primitive we all still are.

Okay, Maybe I was harsh on Cracked

So, here are a few of the lists I did like:

• Nine Awesome Places to Have Sex (And the Horrific Consequences)
• History's Ten Most Terrifying Contraceptives
• Six Sex Myths as Explained by Science
• Six Raunchiest, Most Depraved Sex Acts (From the Bible) - Okay, I know this seems hypocritical of me, but the ones that God didn't judge and smite (hence Biblically depraved), are incest. I'm sure we can all get behind incest being bad (except Solomon - Love Solomon).

So there you go.
Fun stuff to pass along...

People are very close minded

As you know, I am a very devoted follower of LOTD. The author of that blog, in turn, grabs a lot of content from Cracked. Don't get me wrong: I loved Cracked Magazine as a kid, and a lot of the stuff they post is very funny, but I don't get the judgmental attitude.
We all love sex. And we all love it in different ways. My personal feelings about some of the items on the Cracked list are less than chipper, but I'm not going to denigrate the toy, or the people who enjoy them - by extension.
Have you ever listened to someone tear apart your favorite book, movie, TV show? Made you feel pretty small. And stupid. Well, what about your sexual preferences? An area rife with insecurities and bad feelings.
I admit it, I sent a link to LOTD that was used as the mock sponsor of the day. It was a rubber hood in the shape of a dog's head. I very uncharitably sent it along, forgetting that the recipient would make fun of the product, and not the name: "Black Leather Mask Hood Goth Restraints Rubber Zippers". I did, in all honesty, ask, rhetorically, when Scooby got sexy when I sent the link. I just think that there has to be a way to feminize the product. I may want to play the puppy, but not the Great Dane.

LOTD: Cheesy Pickup Lines of The Day

Completely ripped off from my favorite blog in the sphere, List of the Day. Do you have any to add?

-------------------

Cheesy Pickup Lines Of The Day

LOTD reader PrincessPi polled her workmates ("a bunch of dirty ho’s who’ve spend many hours in bars being hit on by drunken post-college frat boys") to come up with this list of pukeworthy pickup lines:

Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course if I were on you, I’d be coming, too.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.

Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy.

Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?

PrincessPi: "The following are for nerds only, because they need lurve too."

If you were a phaser, you’d be set on stunning.

I’ve heard Uranus rotates on its side. True?

Ever wonder what Earth looks like from the back of a Ford Explorer?

Hey, nice GUI. Want to integrate our matrices?

Nice Wifi. Wanna fuck?

What's the worst one(s) you've ever used or heard?

And from MiscMasala.com, cheesy pickup lines in various languages, so you can be a loser in any country.

"Do you come here often?"

French: Tu viens ici souvent?
Spanish: ¿Viene aqui mucho?
Italian: Vieni spesso qui?
German: Kommst du hier oft?
Dutch: Kom je heir vaak?

"How you doin'?"

French: Alors, ça roule?
Spanish: ¿Què tal?
Italian: Come stai?
German: Wie geht's?
Danish: Hva så der?

"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

French: Il fait chaud ici, ou c`est juste toi?
Spanish: ¿Hace calor aqui, o eres tù?
Italian: Fa caldo qui, o è perchè ci sei tu?
German: Ist es hier warm, oder bist du nur heiβ?
Swedish: Är det varmt här eller, är det bara du?

"Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to sleep with me, don't you?"

French: Baise-moisi j`ai tort, mais tu veux cocher avec moi, n`est ce pas?
Spanish: Que me jodan si me equivoco:¿tù quieres acostarte conmigo, no?
Italian: Fottimi se mi sbaglio, ma vuoi venire a letto con me, no?
German: Ich soll verflucht sein, wenn ich mich irre, aber du willst doch mit mir schlafen, oder?
Dutch: Ik mag doodvallen als 't niet waar is, maar je wilt met naar bed, hè?

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"

French: Que fait une gentille fille comme toi dans un esprit mal tournè comme le mien?
Spanish: ¿Que hace una chica tan maja como tù en una mente tan sucia como la mìa?
Italian: Che fa una ragazza perbene come te in una mente sporca come la mia?
German: Was macht ein nettes Mädchen wie du in so schmutzigen Gedanken wie meinen?
Danish: Hvad laver en pæn pige som dig i mine beskidte fantasier?

"If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?"

French: Si je te disais que tu as un beau corps, tu m'en tiendrais rigueur?
Spanish: Si te digo que tienes un cuerpo precioso,¿me lo restregaràs por la cara?
Italian: Se ti dicessi che hai un bel corpo, lo stringeresti sul mio?
German: Wenn ich sage, dass du einen tollen Körper hast, würdest du es mich spürgen lassen?
Thai (phonetically): Taa chan bok wa khoon mii roobrang tii som suan khoon ja yeng chan mai?

"That's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?"

French: Que belle paire de jambes, A quelle heure s'ouvrent-elles?
Spanish: Vaya par de piernas. ¿A què hora abren?
Italian: Che bel paio di gambe. A che ora aprono?
German: Das sind hübsche Biene—und wann öffnen sie?
Russian (phonetically): Haroshenikie nozhki, a kagda ani atkryvayootsya?

"That's a nice dress. It would look great on my bedroom floor."

French: Quelle belle robe. Je la vois bien par terre dans me chambre.
Spanish: Llevas un vestido muy bonito. Quedarìa precioso en el suelo de mi habitaciòn.
Italian: Che bel vestito. Andrebbe molto bene sul pavimento della mia camera da letto.

"My underwear is edible."

French: Mes sous-vètements sont comestibles.
Spanish: Mi ropa interior es comestible.
Italian: Le mie mutande sono commestibili.
German: Meine Unterwäsche ist essbar.
Hebrew (phonetically): Hatakhtonim sheli akhilim.

And, if any of these should actually work...

"I'm not sleeping on the wet spot."

French: Je ne dors pas sur la partie mouillèe.
Spanish: Yo no duermo encima de este charco.
Italian: Non dormo sulla chiazza bagnata.
German: Ich schlafe nicht auf der nassen Stelle.
Thai (phonetically): Chan ja mai non bon puen biaak.

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I have a dear friend, an ex if we are to be completely honest, who once used a train wreck of a line. My friend is cute (would I date anything but?), but he tends to be shy when confronted by pretty girls. There was a girl that gave him a semi by merely breathing in and out, so a friend told him to go talk to her.

"Wanna come up to my place for a coffee and a fuck?"
*SLAP*
"What? You don't like coffee?"
*hysterical laughter*
They dated for 6 months.

So, any success stories?

The Amazing 2-in-1 Condom

I cannot find a picture of this thing anywhere! My darling SO went to the free clinic yesterday (for a sinus infection) and came home with "The Amazing 2-in-1 Condom".

It looks like an over-sized vermilion matchbook. You flip it open and there is a very bland condom in a clear wrapper that is stapled where the matches would be. On the inside of the matchbook, where hand-written phone numbers should go is the following text:

"Keep Smoking and
you might not get it up.

So, if you decide not to quit,
you can still find another
use for this condom, including:

change purse
rain hat
fishing waders
cucumber carrying case
(the change purse and cucumber case are illustrated)

If you want to continue using condoms
for what they are meant for,
quit smoking today. For help call
The Vermont Quit Line Toll Free 1-877-YES-QUIT"

This is a free service from the Vermont Department of Health. I need to go to the local Planned Parenthood to see if they have any. I think this is the funniest and most brilliant thing I have seen in a long time. If you are in a different state, let me know if you've seen anything similar.

Not sure how I would feel about it if I were still smoking, but I think it's definitely a way to get men to think about the other effects smoking has on their bodies (one they actually care about).

Dating a Porn Star

Everyone I know needs to read this

Once again I was reading my favorite blog: List of the Day and Cary posted a link to an entry in Craig's List. Cary does this from time to time, and they are always hysterical. This one was funny, but a "Wow, is that ever familiar" kind of funny.

Here is the note on Craig's List:

Just fucking fuck me, already.

I will be saving this to post every year or so. I think it bears repeating with some frequency...

At Least They Have a Sense of Humor

I've been a huge supporter of The Vagina Monologues for years. I heard about The Puppetry of the Penis, and how it was supposed to be response to the attention doled out to vaginas. I don't give that reasoning any credence, but I love the concept.

I hadn't though about it in years, and then I surfed on over to my favorite blog:

List Of The Day: Penis Puppets Of The Day (NSFW)

I love penises.

I also think that the last pic looks a lot like CBT. But I may be mistaken.

Europeans are so much more fun...

I give this as an example:



First: props for the John Cleese homage.

Second: Ever think you would see that between The Today Show and Rachel Ray? Why is sex, fun sex, so taboo in the US?

However, where else am I going to find this accessory that I thought of while watching the above video? Well, the UK, and the Netherlands, and Germany, and... well, lots of places...

I'm glad that I was lucky enough to be born in the US, but occasionally wonder if the stork could have dropped me three hours north...

A Video Apology for the last post

I hope this makes up for it.

People are weird

You probably don't need me to tell you that people are weird, but I thought I would point it out before directing you to a link that I ran across today:

http://www.shakethatbear.com/

It is definitely not safe for work, children, PETA, you get the idea...

After you watch, read the rest of this blog:

First, I was a little startled. I was not prepared, so I didn't prepare you either. I figured it was fair.

Next, I was pleased to see that she was using protection. Bears carry trichinosis and you must wear gloves while cleaning them.

I really hated the bit with the dogs. Bear is delicious, if a bit greasy; and to let the dogs have it seems horribly wasteful. But I hate trophy hunters anyway.

On the whole, I think that I can understand the emotion and adrenaline inciting amorous behavior. I'm not so sure that I would want to be bent over a still warm corpse of an animal that is probably carrying fleas and ticks and has the potential to carry disease. I also think that it's really weird. It was all planned. There was even a guy with a video camera standing by...

And to close: I am appalled that she was drinking at the end of the video. What kind of role model for future hunters is she trying to be?

2nd Life Prostitution How To...

How completely bizarre, to me at least...

Contraceptives

Let's start this off right:

The ONLY way to be sure your sexual release will not end up with a pregnancy or STD transmission is to masturbate. Mutual masturbation does not count, especially if his bodily fluids are anywhere near her vaginal opening.

STDs that manifest themselves orally are really ugly. And I think we all know that anal isn't entirely safe either.

So, self-love is the only safe-love.

That being said:

CONDOMS people; the only way to prevent unintended pregnancy and the transmission of STDs.

I am not pimping any particular brand, but:

"I can't feel anything!"

"I can't find any that fit!" Well congratulations, big fella! But you're not looking hard enough.

"I'm allergic to latex" There are alternatives.

"I can't make him wear one" A gizmo just for her, and it's latex free. But seriously, if he isn't willing to wear one, do you really want to sleep with him?

Now, all this being said, what are the stats?

I am not going to bother with "With Perfect Use"; you are not going to have a professional on hand to help you out with your contraceptive every time you need one. "Typical Use" is realistic. These are the odds that with "typical use", the female will become pregnant within one year:

Chance 85%

Spermicide 26%

Periodic Abstinance 25%

Withdrawl 19%

Cap w/ spermicide 20-40%

Sponge 20-40%

Diaphram w/ spermicide 20%

Condom - male 14%

Condom - female 21%

The Pill 5%

IUD 2%

Depo Provera 0.3%

Norplant 0.05%

Female sterilization 0.5%

Male sterilization 0.15%

The only two that guard against STDs are the condoms. Monogamy is a beautiful thing; it relies entirely on trust. If you trust that your partner is not doing the deed with anyone else, and you already know that your partner is clean, use whatever floats your boat. However, it's not worth your life or your fertility to just shrug off any doubts you may have. Incidences of STDs are rising! As is teen pregnancy, for the first time in 14 years. Condoms people, condoms!

What's that bump? Why does it burn when I pee?

A few other items of note:

- Some people find spermicides irritating, as a matter of fact nonoxynol-9 may irritate the skin and increase the chances of contracting certain STDs including HIV/AIDS. It's true.

- The 2% of IUDs that fail result in tubal pregnancies that need to be terminated, or death may result.

- The problems associated with the pill: increased risk of blood clot, liver tumors, cancer of the reproductive organs, heart attack, stroke, and gallbladder disease. That being said, if you use your pills to skip all but four of your periods (evenly spaced) throughout the year, you may reduce your risk of breast cancer. Menstruation has been linked to some forms of breast cancer.

A woman is more likely to die in childbirth than from any of the contraceptives I've listed, unless she is a smoker over age 35 taking the pill.

At the age of 30 your chances of dying in childbirth are 15 times more than your chances of your IUD killing you.

Female sterilization is surgery, real-life abdominal surgery.

Male sterilization can be done out-patient in a doctor's office.

From here you are on your own gang, all I can do is provide information. Choose wisely.



I just found an interesting site with Condom Pointers.

New Olympic Sport

I'm not one much for the Olympics. Did not see minute one of this past one in China, but I have deep respect for the athletes who compete. Even in the stupid sports.

But this - this is truly beautiful. She's a little muscle-bound for most men to consider her hot, but damn! She got skills...





... well maybe not, the Eastern Europeans would kill us.

Find of the Day

Every now and again I come across something that I feel I should share.

Here is a blog from a man who shares the same interest is blogs as I do:

http://www.punarama.co.uk/?p=75

Click the link to the BBC - he's right: it's funny and sad.

So.... What would you do? What have you done? What have others done to let you know that you are violating the noise ordinance?

A Few Words on Virgins

I'm not sure what the big deal is about virgins. We all were at some point, and let's face it: your first time was probably just as awkward and clumsy as mine. I was smart enough to do it with a fellow virgin, thereby reducing the embarrassment of screwing up. At least he had no idea what he was doing either.

Since my first virgin, I did tread into those waters a few more times. I had a blind optimism that virgins are easier to train. And I suppose they are, but they only know what feels good for the two of you. There is no, "Wow, what was that?" in their repertoire. It's all guess work. A lot can be gleaned from serious make-out sessions, but god-forbid they be fluent in modern American porn...

Virgins are, for most sexually experienced people, sacred territory. Sex is powerful. It is as close to another human being as you can be without giving birth to them. People tend (not always, but often enough) to become terribly attached to the person they lost their virginity. Either that or they become terribly attached to the act itself. I have been witness to some very sweet girls going the slut route after they lost their cherries.

On the whole, my philosophy on virgins is that they practice on each other. Why anyone, Muslim or otherwise, would want 72 virgins is beyond me. Totally inept in their own bodies, no idea how to please themselves, let alone another person, and terrified of making a wrong move.

Please, someone, tell me I am wrong and narrow-minded. Tell me that you have had amazing sex with someone who'd never done IT before. I haven't. I have had sweet, gentle, timid, loving sex with virgins. They are always willing learners, but after that first time, they are no longer virgins.

Besides, they always make me feel like a criminal - even when they do give it up freely.